Google+ Followers

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


Welcome to my blog. This will more than likely be a rambling journal of a mother who is in a state of disbelief and heartache. Please bare with me. I will try and be honest and open. I am not a literary genius. I am a high school graduate who very much disliked English. I am writing to possibly help myself or to possibly help someone else. In other words I felt strongly today that I can not keep this all to myself. If in any way it helps me get through this or helps someone else get through a similar situation than my job is done. My honesty might bother some and that's OK. You do not have to read this. My feelings will not be hurt. I am also writing to keep family and friends updated in a more in depth and personal way.
As you can see from my profile, I am a mother of 5 children. One of my beautiful kids was diagnosed last January with AML. Acute Myleod Leukemia. ( I'm not even sure I spelled that right). That started us all on an unimaginable journey that we never ever thought we would have to face. AML is a very aggressive cancer of the blood. It's treatment is strong chemotherapy and a 5 month hospital stay. Rachel's type of AML had a very favorable outcome. 85% of patients are cured and go on to lead a very normal life. Our family lives just over an hour away from the hospital she would be staying in. This meant a fractured family for almost 1/2 a year. After the shock wore off we buckled down and did what we needed to do. We were in survival mode. Just the basics. Barry's work (self-employed farmer), our kids and church. Most of all we made sure that Rachel was never alone too long. She spent one night alone in the hospital ( I was across the road at Ronald Mcdonald house). We had to try and it didn't work well. I would leave her alone for a few hours on her good days as I scurried home to be with my other kids. Barry tried his hardest to spend some days there while I could be home. While that was a nice break it meant we were rarely in the same place at the same time. We marched onward counting the weeks. Soon we made the half way point. Then we were on the home stretch. The last month was the longest. SOOOO HARD. I tried to mentally hurry time but it didn't work. The end of June came and with it the good news that Rachel could go home.
The summer months were spent in building her strength and her immunity. We went once a week to get her blood tested. Her counts went up very slowly. They assured us that this was fairly normal. Every patient was different. Mid-August we went for our weekly appointment and her blood showed that her counts dropped. No worries, this happens sometimes. They did a bone marrow test and it came back inconclusive which can also be normal. I breathed a sigh of relief. School started. Rachel was enjoying getting back into the rhythm of life. She had her blood tested again on the 11th of Sept. Her numbers (counts) plunged. With it my heart also plunged. In my heart I knew this could not be good. Another bone marrow test on the 13th (Friday the 13th). An agonizing weekend of waiting and wondering. My dear husband is always the positive one. I can be quite the Negative Nancy (even though I try and fight it). No news Monday. Tuesday morning the phone rang and with it the words "the news is not good". Her cancer is back. Rachel was one of the 15% in the world that this treatment did not work. She is a rare and special girl. I wish she wasn't so special.
Our world once again came crashing down around us. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that their methods the first time around will definitely not work the second time around. She goes in in 2 days for 2 rounds of chemo in London. From there she goes to Toronto for a bone marrow transplant. I wish it were a simple thing but I do not think so. I believe we are entering for the fight for her life.
I do not know much more now. They just told me the basics on the phone. I will be updating this blog regularly.
I ask that you join us in petitioning our heavenly Father for Rachel. He keeps putting the verse " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". I have no real understanding as to why she is supposed to go through this. Why our whole family is being thrown into turmoil. But I believe that God in his infinite wisdom ( I do not have a speck of his wisdom) knows why. I may not like it at all and to be honest I feel like yelling at God and saying some not-so-nice things. But I am left with TRUST.

No comments:

Post a Comment